Requests

Most first-year students of Japanese learn how to make simple requests in Japanese. Usually they are taught polite requests using  either ~o kudasai for object requests or -te kudasai for action requests. If you just go around making requests like ’mizu o kudasai’ or ‘matte kudasai’ all the time, you’ll sound just like a tourist who’s picked a few choice phrases out of a phrase book. Learn to mix it up a bit and recognize when it’s alright to make casual requests and when you should use polite forms. Here are a few bits on the subject.

‘kudasaru’ is deferential.

‘kureru’ is used when speaking to one’s peers or to someone in a ‘lower’ position, like a restaurant server or convenience store clerk. But, when making requests, it’s often acceptable to use the deferential form ‘kudasaru’ even if the person receiving your request is a peer or ’subordinate’. For example, you can use ‘-te kudasai’ to request an action at a convenience store with the clerk. If you want him/her to heat up your bento in the store’s microwave, you can say ‘bentou o atatamete kudasai’. Of course, if you have to ask for this to be done in Japan, the clerk has likely slipped up by not offering to do so in the first place. However, since you’re the customer (お客様は神様です) you can request the action using the friendlier or more casual ‘kureru’. You can say ‘Atatamete kureru?’ Or, more politely, ‘Atatamete kuremasen ka?’ If you’re an old salaryman, you might say ‘Atatamete kure’, but I think we can pretty much forget about using that one.

With friends or your close peers use very casual speech. It’s OK. For example, when you want to borrow your classmate’s pencil (make sure you’re somewhat familiar with the person), use ‘enpitsu kashite kureru?’or, if he/she’s a good friend, try ‘enpitsu kashite-choudai’or just ‘enpitsu choudai’. Because you’ll be using casual speech it’s OK to drop the ‘o’ particle.

When talking about someone having done something for you, care must be taken. Use of friendly vs. deferential forms becomes important. For example, you can tell your co-worker that the pencil you have was given to you by a friend by saying ‘Kore wa tomodachi ga kureta enpitsu desu.’

When talking about a pencil given to you by the company president, you would say something like ‘Shacho ga watashi ni kono enpitsu o kudasaimashita’ (”The company president gave me this pencil”) or ‘Shacho ga watakushi ni kono enpitsu o kudasaimashita’ if you’re speaking with a co-worker who you’re not too familiar with. Of course, ‘itadaku’, the deferential form of the verb meaning ‘to receive’, is used more commonly: ‘Kono enpitsu wa shacho ni itadakimashita’ (”I received this pencil from the company president”).

Knowing what level of politeness to use in any given situation can be very valuable. Many Japanese will forgive you if you slip up, but there are those that just can’t bear to converse with anyone who uses the language like a ‘barbarian.’ Also, in restaurants many Japanese servers become uncomfortable when dealing with foreigners, even if that foreigner uses Japanese quite well. Many servers will become quite nervous when they think that a miscommunication with a foreigner might result in a problem. First impressions are important, even in customer-server interactions, despite the fact that ‘the customer is God’ in Japan. If a server’s initial impression of your Japanese ability is not good, he or she may go into ‘worry mode’ and may not recover, resulting in awkward interactions for the rest of the evening. It sounds silly, but gaijin who’ve lived here for awhile know this happens. Using textbook requests like ‘mizu o kudasai’ or ‘nama biiru futatsu onegai shimasu’ may quickly convince a server that your Japanese level is amateur, at best. Listen to native Japanese speakers in restaurants and izakayas. How many of them use such polite language? As an American, I was raised to treat each person with respect, no matter what relationship I have with that person. That includes servers. But, it’s different here in Japan. When someone assumes the role of server, he or she has assumed a station that is lower than that of the customer; therefore, it’s perfectly OK not to use polite speech, even when making requests. Use casual speech when you order in a restaurant and see if the server doesn’t become more comfortable with your Japanese. Foreigners who know how to use such casual speech at restaurants usually know how to do so because they have experience. Japanese servers who deal with foreigners often know this.

So next time, forget ‘Sumimasen. Nama biiru futatsu onegai shimasu’ and belt out a ’simaseeen! Nama biiru futats!’ And definitely cut out the ‘kudasai’ thing.